The pregnancy peanut gallery

Being pregnant is a joy and a job in itself- doctor's visits, getting a great glow to your skin, gaining weight, picking baby names, baby showers, and belly rubs from strangers. Yet there is one annoying thing that we moms can agree on is having to hear from what I call the "Pregnancy Peanut Gallery". These people can vary from family members, total strangers, and friends who have kids and want to pass on helpful information. Although we know they mean well, it's a bit unnerving at times because it causes us "newbies" to worry about how we're caring for the child. After 3 years of having my first daughter, I've learned that there's a difference in giving helpful advice, and "Legends from the Abyss". All of the stories, myths, and other crazy things that your mother got from her grandmother, who got it from generations of other women about how to take care of yourself and the baby during the 9 month term and after the first year of life. These midwife tales have been passed down from so many generations that it's hard to pinpoint where they came from and if they're factual enough to apply in these modern times. So here's a list of what I've found from online research and mom-friends for the most common legends recorded, the answers that moms and doctors gave to debunk or give truth to these tales, and my thoughts to round it all out.

1. Carry low, you're having a boy; Carry high, it's a girl.

- Pregnancy-info.com: False-the way you carry is determined by muscle and uterine tone as well as the position of your baby. Weird enough, my daughter was sitting a bit high in my rib cage... but then again, I'm 5'2 and a half so she was probably right in the middle. I feel sorry for the woman carrying twins of the opposite sex if this myth was true....

2. Sleeping on your back can compress blood flow of the Vena Cava and hurt the baby.

- IVillage.com: Most docs say it's not true, but having LABOR while laying flat on your back can cause the baby more stress that way since contractions slow down the blood flow anyway. As far as sleeping goes, you can sleep however makes you feel comfortable. I was paranoid the whole time, and tense from laying on my sides so much! I actually did wake up laying on my back a few times, but would turn on my side when I realized how comfortable I was.

3. Raising your arms will tangle the umbilical cord around the baby's neck.

-IVillage: False: While growing, the baby has so much space in the womb to swim around that they often tangle themselves as they get bigger. My mother in law reminded me to keep my arms down a lot, and I did until I had to stretch or grab a cup from the shelf, then I stopped because it didn't make any sense. FYI: The umbilical cord is attached from the baby's stomach to the placenta, how can it possibly stretch far enough to become attached to your arms like a puppet?

4. You should have another child straightaway after the first one so they can grow up together.

-ME: I've read articles and heard from friends about how far apart you should have your children to ensure harmony within the household and to avoid sibling rivalry/jealousy (e.g. the older child vs the new baby). My daughter is 3 and my stepson is 7 and they play pretty good with one another until they start fighting over a specific toy or can't understand each other well enough to play certain games. I would rather have this dynamic where I can explain things to the oldest child about how to help me with the youngest instead of having two children in the same age/mental range who have to cry louder than the other to get their point across. It's nice for kids to grow up together with siblings if that's the way you plan it, otherwise don't push another child into the world to fill a quota or create a balance that might not work for you and your family.

5. When your first child starts walking at an early age, they're making room for the next child.

-ME: I haven't found any myths on this one, but I hear it all the time among family. Maybe the child just figured out an easier way to do it after watching everyone else walking around them. Couldn't it be possible that rug burns on the knees actually hurt and they don't like it? The next child comes if and whenever they're due, not because your first child decided to grow up and do what comes naturally to them. Luckily, I was on birth control before and after my daughter started walking!

6. The "pull out method" is an effective alternative to using birth control or condoms.
-ME: False- it's an alternative, but not the most effective!! (Ok, honestly speaking this is probably how my daughter was born, and maybe a lot of us reading this blog) According to many sites and medical journals, precum (lubricant for the sperm to pass thru the penis) has a very low chance of containing sperm, given that the guy has urinated, cleaned up afterwards, or didn't ejaculate before sex. This method is either hit or miss, and depending on how quick, careful, and aware your man is at pulling out, you could probably do this with ease. Otherwise, if you know that he's a little sloppy and unpracticed, or just someone you really don't see yourself getting serious about, then you better get the strongest BC or condom you can find and be consistent- whether you decide to risk it or not, always be careful!

Here are a few others to ponder over....
"If you want to prevent a hard labor, make sure you DON'T take naps. If you do, the baby will get stuck to your ribs and won't come out during labor!"

"If you eat food in front of a pregnant lady and don't offer her any, you are cursing the baby to be born with bulgy eyes"

"Wearing a Hawaiian lei around your neck will cause the umbilical cord to tie itself around the fetus' neck"

"Feeding your baby solid foods at an early age (5-9 mos) is safe, as it will give the baby more norishment than just drinking formula/milk"

I'm sure there are more out there, but at least this list will arm you with what's to come. As we moms would advise, just follow your instincts (and the advice of your pediatrician/sane family members) and you'll do just fine with your new little one. Congratulations!