RELAX!!!

*Request
"3..2..1, 1..2..3- what the HECK is bothering me?!"- Carl Winslow's calming mantra from Family Matters in his attempt to calm himself down....


It's crazy how we go through our daily routines and forget to see ourselves... how tired we are, eyes looking puffy and dark-circled, body shutting down, or nerves being shot to Hell. Everyone else can see us, and we look CRAZY and angry majority of the time! I constantly have to be told to "sit down, don't pick up those clothes, close your eyes and don't look at your phone!" by my significant other (S.O.), and for my sake I heed what he says because I take on a lot, and I hear all the crazy stuff I say when i'm tired and run down.... not a pretty sight for a pretty lady. So, i'm writing this as a note to all busy women and men to let you know that you're not alone in this "hyper-busy" world, and I ask that you take more time to care for yourselves so you don't burn yourselves out. How? Well, here's some advice that was given to me, and a few things I've come across:


1. I'm not good with pills, but I'm doing better with taking multi-vitamins, Gingko, and a couple of women supplements to keep my energy going and my body fueled. My S.O. would be proud of me, because I would go for weeks forgetting to take them and he'd have to tell me "don't wait until something is wrong with you to start caring about yourself" every time I get sick or get wiped out! So, go to your local health food store or Pharmacy to see what works best for you and take them every day as prescribed!


2. My S.O. bought a Jack LaLane juicer so he can drink to a more healthier self, and invited me to join him. I have to admit, the fruit and veggie juices he makes are great and gave me more energy than coffee! Yet, the real fun is DOING the juicing- taking the time to cut apples and cucumbers takes a lot of focus away from what's going on around you, then smashing them down against the blade and seeing all the colors mixing together is the most relaxing experience I've ever had in the kitchen! Try it, your mind and your body will thank you!


3. I found a Yoga app for my iPhone! I've only done the 30 minute version once, but it was a great way to stretch my muscles out and feel some mental release! I'm working towards doing this exercise in the mornings before work or after the kids are put to bed, so I can get my mental peace going! I also want to try Zumba so I can dance all that stress away and look gooooood!!


4. Breathing may be overrated, but it's something your body needs to do! I found some breathing exercises to help my vocal cords, and as I would do them I felt a lot calmer in 15 minutes than I did in 8 hours at work! When things get hectic, step out the room and go to a place where you can close your eyes and just breathe slowly for a count of 10. Sometimes I visualize a more calm, in-control Leslie at the end of it, or myself sitting by a beautiful willow tree on a Summer day.... the choice is yours.


5. Epsom salt baths, my favorite tea and cookie, a good book or movie under a warm blanket (Snuggies don't count...), stretch out on the carpet and lay there for awhile, do a silly dance by myself or with the kids, pray and meditate on the blessings I have and what I want to draw towards myself, LAUGH, find my hairstylist so she can wash my hair and super-massage my scalp- whatever comes to my mind i'm doing it, and you should do the same! 


Best of luck to a calmer, relaxed, less than insane YOU!!

Pieces to the puzzle of YOU...

I happened to catch an opening recap of "Girlfriends" where Lynn told Joan she wanted to find her biological father, stating, "I'm not looking for the magic key to unlock my soul, I just want to know where I'm from!" I had to take a step back and reflect on how much I can really relate to that statement, because my life puzzle is still being put together. My sister and I got a chance to be reunited with our birth family, meet family members that we never knew of, and learn about where the maternal half of ourselves came from. Over the last 2 years my uncle, sister, and David have been looking for my father to help complete this puzzle of mine. 


I've never met my birth father before, but I remember a picture my mom showed me when I was little- he was tall, skinny, and light-skinned. Name? Carl Washington... And that name stuck with me for a very long time.  My sister and I have different fathers, and we met her father and his family a few times before he got the boot from mom about his "extra" activities. We went through a lot of drama, relocations, and changes over the years until we were taken away from mom and placed with a non-kin family, and that spiraled into other internal, emotional problems within my sister and I. Although we both came out of our situations safer, better, and have started our own families, I still feel that majority of those changes and problems would've been cut down if my father had been permitted to stay in my life, and if he had fought harder to be there despite my mother saying "we don't need you". Or maybe my sister's dad if he wasn't so abusive and selfish....maybe not, but at least 1 birth father would've been better than none and having to deal with your mom's boyfriends and the Hell that came with them. 


 I've thought about what I would say to him, how he would look now and what he would say to me. All the questions I'd have to ask to see how similar or different we are, learn about his side of the family, how he met mom and felt about her, and get the other side of the truth about them breaking up. To keep any anger or blame at bay, I wrote him a letter to get my feelings out and update him on what happened in our lives while he was away- the details alone would make him sick, and to see a tear roll down his face would be payment enough for me.


 I am grateful that my children don't have to go through the hurt, loss, and confusion that many people have experienced besides myself. I get to live vicariously through them as I watch them grow up with great parents like ourselves, but more specifically with a father that cares for and nurtures them with a passion as he gives them what he wished he had as a kid. Sometimes I get a little jealous, but I would rather see the cycle of good energy start with my children than them experience what David and I went through. 


 Last week, David took another look on Facebook and friended a guy that could be my father. At first, I wasn't sure if I wanted to meet him, but now I want to see the other half of where I came from. I restarted my Ancestry.com account and revisited my family tree to learn more about my family and see if I find any info on my father.... Stay tuned.

Random blessing: connecting with old friends and new people that turned into Kindred Spirits this year is so refreshing! It makes life so much more fun!

"In _________ we Trust...." (repost)

"If truth be told- say it loud, say it bold, make sure your words hold their weight like Gold...." -LNN (me)

One topic that my S.O. (significant other) and I talked about for years was about Trust- deeper than your typical "cheaters vs loyalty" relationship trust, or general "Honest Abe vs The Liar" trust.

so let's talk about Trust, shall we?

When we speak of trust most of us only look at this basic angle of how well or often we give the truth in words and actions . The tricky thing is that someone will give you the truth based on the depth of your questions, and may not assess it any further than that. The term "the proof is in the pudding" makes sense now when you literally apply it this way:

1. Your expectations from the "advertisement" of the product (i.e., a box of banana pudding looking delicious in a festive bowl)
2. The ingredients (content/what it's made of)
3. The results (could be the best or the worst dang banana pudding ever!)

Now, try applying this logic to people... Based on what you see and what they "advertise", getting to know them to see the "content", then really seeing what type of person you get- the results could turn out really good or extremely bad!! This may show how far you can trust this person to be what and who they really are at their core, their experience/actions (past or present), and how they display themselves to others. Some "lie" intentionally to hide from or hurt others, overreach to be more than what they are, or "honestly" just aren't aware enough of themselves to know who they are at that moment. Whichever the case, we have to be aware of how our "truths" and "lies" can affect others and the energy this can bring- good and bad.

Example: If someone you just met asked you "Can you cook?", you may naturally answer "yes!" because you may remember cooking with family growing up before you left for college. Then you may be asked follow up questions like "ok, can you cook _______?" and based on your memory of past holidays and dinners you may say Yes to many of these questions. Now, based on your actual experience you may be telling the truth...However, for those who didn't take a fair assessment of themselves before answering these questions may not have thought about the fact that it had been about 5 years since you cooked for ANYONE or yourself as you were in college most of the time and came home during the holidays to help cook but never cooked those things by yourself. Thus, your skills and habits will be put to the test to reveal IF you're a master chef, a student who's open to learn, or better off taking orders... then the results will show if you can be "trusted" to cook a decent meal that others can eat without being poisoned.This doesn't mean that you're a horrible liar, you just didn't take the time to assess what your skills were against the question that was posed to you.

I remember a phone conversation that I overheard while waiting on the Red Line train, where a woman was breaking up with someone. The phrase that stuck out in my mind was "I trusted you based on what you told me, and I made my decisions and changed my life around that..." WOW- it really helped those past discussions with my S.O. to sink in deeper about how being truthful in who you are with actions to match can affect others... and how my "truths" or "miscalculations" of myself may have affected him and others in my own life.

Do you trust yourself? Can others trust who you are and see that your actions match? Do you hide who you are from others to save face, or are you comfortable with yourself enough to admit your weaknesses (and find a way to fix them)? Are you able to look at the person across from you and say that you know who they are? I dare you to look past the surface and reassess everything you know, put it in perspective, and see where this takes you. Good luck on your journey of enlightenment, i'm still on mine :)

Random feeling: I bet it frustrates you when others take your best qualities for granted, then turn around and tell YOU they wish they had someone like that in their lives....

Starting over can be tough, never starting is scary...

Random truth: birthdays....

Every year ppl freak out over their age, instead of being thankful for another year! Age is not a death sentence, but a measure of how long you've been alive and uniquely "you", and an allowance to change and accomplish more. To remain young is to constantly grow in a healthy, vibrant, positive mindset; To be "old" is to stop growing and become outdated; death has no age at all. Be proud and true to your age!