Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
"In _________ we Trust...." (repost)
"If truth be told- say it loud, say it bold, make sure your words hold their weight like Gold...." -LNN (me)
One topic that my S.O. (significant other) and I talked about for years was about Trust- deeper than your typical "cheaters vs loyalty" relationship trust, or general "Honest Abe vs The Liar" trust.
so let's talk about Trust, shall we?
When we speak of trust most of us only look at this basic angle of how well or often we give the truth in words and actions . The tricky thing is that someone will give you the truth based on the depth of your questions, and may not assess it any further than that. The term "the proof is in the pudding" makes sense now when you literally apply it this way:
1. Your expectations from the "advertisement" of the product (i.e., a box of banana pudding looking delicious in a festive bowl)
2. The ingredients (content/what it's made of)
3. The results (could be the best or the worst dang banana pudding ever!)
Now, try applying this logic to people... Based on what you see and what they "advertise", getting to know them to see the "content", then really seeing what type of person you get- the results could turn out really good or extremely bad!! This may show how far you can trust this person to be what and who they really are at their core, their experience/actions (past or present), and how they display themselves to others. Some "lie" intentionally to hide from or hurt others, overreach to be more than what they are, or "honestly" just aren't aware enough of themselves to know who they are at that moment. Whichever the case, we have to be aware of how our "truths" and "lies" can affect others and the energy this can bring- good and bad.
Example: If someone you just met asked you "Can you cook?", you may naturally answer "yes!" because you may remember cooking with family growing up before you left for college. Then you may be asked follow up questions like "ok, can you cook _______?" and based on your memory of past holidays and dinners you may say Yes to many of these questions. Now, based on your actual experience you may be telling the truth...However, for those who didn't take a fair assessment of themselves before answering these questions may not have thought about the fact that it had been about 5 years since you cooked for ANYONE or yourself as you were in college most of the time and came home during the holidays to help cook but never cooked those things by yourself. Thus, your skills and habits will be put to the test to reveal IF you're a master chef, a student who's open to learn, or better off taking orders... then the results will show if you can be "trusted" to cook a decent meal that others can eat without being poisoned.This doesn't mean that you're a horrible liar, you just didn't take the time to assess what your skills were against the question that was posed to you.
I remember a phone conversation that I overheard while waiting on the Red Line train, where a woman was breaking up with someone. The phrase that stuck out in my mind was "I trusted you based on what you told me, and I made my decisions and changed my life around that..." WOW- it really helped those past discussions with my S.O. to sink in deeper about how being truthful in who you are with actions to match can affect others... and how my "truths" or "miscalculations" of myself may have affected him and others in my own life.
Do you trust yourself? Can others trust who you are and see that your actions match? Do you hide who you are from others to save face, or are you comfortable with yourself enough to admit your weaknesses (and find a way to fix them)? Are you able to look at the person across from you and say that you know who they are? I dare you to look past the surface and reassess everything you know, put it in perspective, and see where this takes you. Good luck on your journey of enlightenment, i'm still on mine :)
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Random truth: birthdays....
Every year ppl freak out over their age, instead of being thankful for another year! Age is not a death sentence, but a measure of how long you've been alive and uniquely "you", and an allowance to change and accomplish more. To remain young is to constantly grow in a healthy, vibrant, positive mindset; To be "old" is to stop growing and become outdated; death has no age at all. Be proud and true to your age!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Gratefulness!
Random truth: everyday that you wake up, you're given another opportunity to accomplish your best. So get up, give thanks, and get started!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
In____ we Trust.....
"If truth be told- say it loud, say it bold, make sure your words hold their weight like Gold...." -LNN (me)
One topic that my S.O. (significant other) and I talked about for years was about Trust- deeper than your typical "cheaters vs loyalty" relationship trust, or general "Honest Abe vs The Liar" trust.
so let's talk about Trust, shall we?
When we speak of trust most of us only look at this basic angle of how well or often we give the truth in words and actions . The tricky thing is that someone will give you the truth based on the depth of your questions, and may not assess it any further than that. The term "the proof is in the pudding" makes sense now when you literally apply it this way:
1. Your expectations from the "advertisement" of the product (i.e., a box of banana pudding looking delicious in a festive bowl)
2. The ingredients (content/what it's made of)
3. The results (could be the best or the worst dang banana pudding ever!)
Now, try applying this logic to people... Based on what you see and what they "advertise", getting to know them to see the "content", then really seeing what type of person you get- the results could turn out really good or extremely bad!! This may show how far you can trust this person to be what and who they really are at their core, their experience/actions (past or present), and how they display themselves to others. Some "lie" intentionally to hide from or hurt others, overreach to be more than what they are, or "honestly" just aren't aware enough of themselves to know who they are at that moment. Whichever the case, we have to be aware of how our "truths" and "lies" can affect others and the energy this can bring- good and bad.
Example: If someone you just met asked you "Can you cook?", you may naturally answer "yes!" because you may remember cooking with family growing up before you left for college. Then you may be asked follow up questions like "ok, can you cook _______?" and based on your memory of past holidays and dinners you may say Yes to many of these questions. Now, based on your actual experience you may be telling the truth...However, for those who didn't take a fair assessment of themselves before answering these questions may not have thought about the fact that it had been about 5 years since you cooked for ANYONE or yourself as you were in college most of the time and came home during the holidays to help cook but never cooked those things by yourself. Thus, your skills and habits will be put to the test to reveal IF you're a master chef, a student who's open to learn, or better off taking orders... then the results will show if you can be "trusted" to cook a decent meal that others can eat without being poisoned.This doesn't mean that you're a horrible liar, you just didn't take the time to assess what your skills were against the question that was posed to you.
I remember a phone conversation that I overheard while waiting on the Red Line train, where a woman was breaking up with someone. The phrase that stuck out in my mind was "I trusted you based on what you told me, and I made my decisions and changed my life around that..." WOW- it really helped those past discussions with my S.O. to sink in deeper about how being truthful in who you are with actions to match can affect others... and how my "truths" or "miscalculations" of myself may have affected him and others in my own life.
Do you trust yourself? Can others trust who you are and see that your actions match? Do you hide who you are from others to save face, or are you comfortable with yourself enough to admit your weaknesses (and find a way to fix them)? Are you able to look at the person across from you and say that you know who they are? I dare you to look past the surface and reassess everything you know, put it in perspective, and see where this takes you. Good luck on your journey of enlightenment, i'm still on mine :)
One topic that my S.O. (significant other) and I talked about for years was about Trust- deeper than your typical "cheaters vs loyalty" relationship trust, or general "Honest Abe vs The Liar" trust.
so let's talk about Trust, shall we?
When we speak of trust most of us only look at this basic angle of how well or often we give the truth in words and actions . The tricky thing is that someone will give you the truth based on the depth of your questions, and may not assess it any further than that. The term "the proof is in the pudding" makes sense now when you literally apply it this way:
1. Your expectations from the "advertisement" of the product (i.e., a box of banana pudding looking delicious in a festive bowl)
2. The ingredients (content/what it's made of)
3. The results (could be the best or the worst dang banana pudding ever!)
Now, try applying this logic to people... Based on what you see and what they "advertise", getting to know them to see the "content", then really seeing what type of person you get- the results could turn out really good or extremely bad!! This may show how far you can trust this person to be what and who they really are at their core, their experience/actions (past or present), and how they display themselves to others. Some "lie" intentionally to hide from or hurt others, overreach to be more than what they are, or "honestly" just aren't aware enough of themselves to know who they are at that moment. Whichever the case, we have to be aware of how our "truths" and "lies" can affect others and the energy this can bring- good and bad.
Example: If someone you just met asked you "Can you cook?", you may naturally answer "yes!" because you may remember cooking with family growing up before you left for college. Then you may be asked follow up questions like "ok, can you cook _______?" and based on your memory of past holidays and dinners you may say Yes to many of these questions. Now, based on your actual experience you may be telling the truth...However, for those who didn't take a fair assessment of themselves before answering these questions may not have thought about the fact that it had been about 5 years since you cooked for ANYONE or yourself as you were in college most of the time and came home during the holidays to help cook but never cooked those things by yourself. Thus, your skills and habits will be put to the test to reveal IF you're a master chef, a student who's open to learn, or better off taking orders... then the results will show if you can be "trusted" to cook a decent meal that others can eat without being poisoned.This doesn't mean that you're a horrible liar, you just didn't take the time to assess what your skills were against the question that was posed to you.
I remember a phone conversation that I overheard while waiting on the Red Line train, where a woman was breaking up with someone. The phrase that stuck out in my mind was "I trusted you based on what you told me, and I made my decisions and changed my life around that..." WOW- it really helped those past discussions with my S.O. to sink in deeper about how being truthful in who you are with actions to match can affect others... and how my "truths" or "miscalculations" of myself may have affected him and others in my own life.
Do you trust yourself? Can others trust who you are and see that your actions match? Do you hide who you are from others to save face, or are you comfortable with yourself enough to admit your weaknesses (and find a way to fix them)? Are you able to look at the person across from you and say that you know who they are? I dare you to look past the surface and reassess everything you know, put it in perspective, and see where this takes you. Good luck on your journey of enlightenment, i'm still on mine :)
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Random Truth: "I can't hear you!"
Why do people think that I can hear them talking when I'm clearly wearing headphones?
I'm waiting for the bus to go to work, then this guy in a car stops at a red light and I just so happened to look over and he's talking but I can't hear him due to "Arise" playing in my ears. It looks like a silent movie, so I give him this confused look and pull out one of my earbuds (which has a silver tip on the outside sticking out of the ear, you can't miss it) very slowly. He goes on to say "CVS", so I point in the direction of the store down the street.... Then he says "no, the high school!" I say, "uh, that's out South, isn't it?" He agrees with me, but says that he thinks that he saw me before and maybe we went to school together. I shake my head and disagree, he apologizes and bids me good day.
Just when I think it's over and I put my earbud back in its rightful place, a guy walks up to the bus stop talking and pointing down the street... Luckily, my song ended and I let him know that the bus goes all the way downtown. LOL-Good morning!
I'm waiting for the bus to go to work, then this guy in a car stops at a red light and I just so happened to look over and he's talking but I can't hear him due to "Arise" playing in my ears. It looks like a silent movie, so I give him this confused look and pull out one of my earbuds (which has a silver tip on the outside sticking out of the ear, you can't miss it) very slowly. He goes on to say "CVS", so I point in the direction of the store down the street.... Then he says "no, the high school!" I say, "uh, that's out South, isn't it?" He agrees with me, but says that he thinks that he saw me before and maybe we went to school together. I shake my head and disagree, he apologizes and bids me good day.
Just when I think it's over and I put my earbud back in its rightful place, a guy walks up to the bus stop talking and pointing down the street... Luckily, my song ended and I let him know that the bus goes all the way downtown. LOL-Good morning!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Topics: what's on your mind?
Hey there everyone! I'm opening up this blog to talk about anything that YOU as the reader would want to talk about or have me research and elaborate on. I'm interested to hear what's on your mind, so post your comments below or hit me on Facebook. Please, just keep it simple- if it's something crazy or foolish I'm not addressing it (or maybe I will and just embarrass you, your choice) Thanks!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Fathers.....
Although I remembered my mother, I only had a picture of my father in my mind from the first and last time she showed me- I never knew him, and still haven't met him... After everything I've experienced, I'd only want to see him so I can see the other half of where I came from, and to show him what he missed out on. Growing up though, the closest father figure my sister and I had was my Uncle Tony in San Francisco. No matter the distance, he was always a phone call away and we're extremely close.
Now that I'm a mother of one, I'm elated at the fact that my daughter and her father (David) have a special connection and he takes care of her above and beyond the call of duty. No matter what happens in life or how old she gets, this is the kind of experience she'll remember for a lifetime. To be honest, I've learned a great deal of life lessons from Dave that I should've learned from my parents...
Through this, the void my father left in me is filled, and appreciating my child's father everyday besides Father's day is a must- good men are rare these days! It's unfortunate, however, that some women don't share this view.
In a past conversation, I was told that Men (especially Black men) feel it's mostly Black women who don't appreciate good men who show and prove their worth and weight constantly. What they get in return is a flimsy "thanks" (maybe), negative energy and disregard, especially when they can't provide everything that's being asked of them or make a mistake (I.e., "you [men] ain't $h@!). Yet when these guys need support or a favor that results in a positive outcome (esp. For the kids sake) the women don't come thru and/or refuse to help....putting a "convenient excuse" in front of their actions so it "makes sense"! WHY?! I can only imagine the challenges of being a man who provides and protects on a daily basis, and our Black men face so much more adversity and stress in this world.... How do these women forget that the one person that they look to for comfort and strength is his woman?!
When will they open their eyes and give more honor and respect to the men who are REAL MEN to their families and great fathers to their children? Even when the parents separate, there are dads that still want to be apart of their children's lives to the fullest extent!! Why do THESE men get played to the left, disregarded, downplayed, and taken for granted instead of the cheaters, abusers, deadbeat dads who leave their families behind, no call/no show on the kids, and don't look back?
This behavior coming from any woman is appalling....but being a Black woman myself and seeing our black women do this makes me sick! Then I hear these same women complaining with negative attitudes and wondering where all "the good men" went... Into hiding, maybe?!
Ladies, why is it that you can only call on "good dad/man" when you need money, talk about your drama, or when the kids are out of control? Why not call them to see how they're doing, to spend time with the kids, or just build a positive bond with them? If kids are involved, think about how much it would benefit them to see and feel that positive bond between their parents, no matter the situation!
Make your mistakes, and go through your ups and downs, but always appreciate, support, and respect the good men, fathers and friends that they are... Don't just start on Fathers Day, start today and everyday thereafter.
Now that I'm a mother of one, I'm elated at the fact that my daughter and her father (David) have a special connection and he takes care of her above and beyond the call of duty. No matter what happens in life or how old she gets, this is the kind of experience she'll remember for a lifetime. To be honest, I've learned a great deal of life lessons from Dave that I should've learned from my parents...
Through this, the void my father left in me is filled, and appreciating my child's father everyday besides Father's day is a must- good men are rare these days! It's unfortunate, however, that some women don't share this view.
In a past conversation, I was told that Men (especially Black men) feel it's mostly Black women who don't appreciate good men who show and prove their worth and weight constantly. What they get in return is a flimsy "thanks" (maybe), negative energy and disregard, especially when they can't provide everything that's being asked of them or make a mistake (I.e., "you [men] ain't $h@!). Yet when these guys need support or a favor that results in a positive outcome (esp. For the kids sake) the women don't come thru and/or refuse to help....putting a "convenient excuse" in front of their actions so it "makes sense"! WHY?! I can only imagine the challenges of being a man who provides and protects on a daily basis, and our Black men face so much more adversity and stress in this world.... How do these women forget that the one person that they look to for comfort and strength is his woman?!
When will they open their eyes and give more honor and respect to the men who are REAL MEN to their families and great fathers to their children? Even when the parents separate, there are dads that still want to be apart of their children's lives to the fullest extent!! Why do THESE men get played to the left, disregarded, downplayed, and taken for granted instead of the cheaters, abusers, deadbeat dads who leave their families behind, no call/no show on the kids, and don't look back?
This behavior coming from any woman is appalling....but being a Black woman myself and seeing our black women do this makes me sick! Then I hear these same women complaining with negative attitudes and wondering where all "the good men" went... Into hiding, maybe?!
Ladies, why is it that you can only call on "good dad/man" when you need money, talk about your drama, or when the kids are out of control? Why not call them to see how they're doing, to spend time with the kids, or just build a positive bond with them? If kids are involved, think about how much it would benefit them to see and feel that positive bond between their parents, no matter the situation!
Make your mistakes, and go through your ups and downs, but always appreciate, support, and respect the good men, fathers and friends that they are... Don't just start on Fathers Day, start today and everyday thereafter.
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